When Grief Resurfaces
Grief has a way of revisiting us, often more intensely, as we approach certain times of the year or significant life events. Holidays, special dates, or even subtle environmental shifts can bring back waves of emotions tied to our loss. These moments of "shadow grief" can feel especially unexpected if you've recently found some relief from earlier, more acute feelings of grief.
Here are some examples of situations that might stir up these emotions:
Celebrations, like holidays or cultural festivals
Personal milestones, such as birthdays or anniversaries
Significant dates, like the day of a diagnosis or passing
Routine markers, like the day of the week or month when the loss occurred
Seasonal changes, such as the arrival of spring or autumn
Familiar sensory cues, like specific scents, songs, or sounds
Community events, such as fairs, concerts, or local gatherings
By identifying potential triggers ahead of time, you can prepare yourself emotionally and develop strategies to cope. Leaning on supportive relationships can make a big difference. For example, plan a conversation or outing with a trusted friend or family member, or consider attending a grief support group or speaking with a counselor who specializes in bereavement.
Rituals can also be a powerful way to process and honor your grief. Planning a meaningful ritual in advance allows you to take some control over the occasion and channel your emotions in a constructive way. Here are some ideas for rituals you might find comforting:
Visit a meaningful location, such as a favorite park or beach your loved one enjoyed.
Create a memory garden by planting flowers, a tree, or a small herb patch in their honor.
Place a meaningful keepsake, such as a photo or memento, in a special spot in your home.
Organize a small donation drive or contribute to a cause that reflects your loved one's passions.
Pass along an item that belonged to your loved one to someone who will cherish it.
Light a candle at gatherings to honor their memory.
Look through photo albums, journals, or keepsakes to reflect on special moments you shared.
Grief is a journey that ebbs and flows. By anticipating its return and giving yourself the tools and space to navigate it, you can find moments of peace and connection amid the waves.
For further help, consider working with a therapist on our team to help determine the level of care for you..
By: Kelley Tokarski, Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC #14215) is under the supervision of Curt Widhalm, LMFT #47333
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